I have a feeling they're out to get me.

It started on Tuesday afternoon. I'd seen them around before, but this time was different. When I looked up I saw a black cloud not more than a few feet above my head. And the noise, such an awful noise. They emitted a brain rattling penetrating buzz. The very thought of it makes my skin crawl. I instinctively ducked and retreated back to the garage. For the rest of the afternoon I hid inside the house and occasionally checked at the window to see if the cloud was still out there. I couldn't see it, but I also couldn't be sure it was gone, so I kept listening for the sound.

By the time John arrived home that night there were still a few bees flying around but the swarm was gone. He found a hole to the attic where we'd recently had an outdoor light fixture installed. We agreed that he should patch it up with caulking to keep the bees out. We thought that'd be the end of it, but no. The next day they were back, not as a swarm, but as just a few dozen bees hanging around the light fixture. He caulked up some additional cracks that looked like they might lead to the attic, and again we thought we were done with it. Not so.

The next day, yesterday, they were back again, there were more of them, and this time they were mad. I decided to just stay indoors. When John arrived home last night he found a clump of bees on the corner of the house. Ok. That was bad. Way bad. We were in over our heads so I called a bee remover. When I told the guy on the phone that we'd caulked up the attic he rather urgently asked how long ago we had done this and he also wanted to know if we'd seen any bees in the house. Holy cow, killer bees in the house, that's like my worst nightmare. The problem seems so obvious in retrospect. If we trapped bees in the attic, they would try to get out anywhere they could. The guy on the phone said they could be here in an hour.

We soon found out that the swarm had never left at all, it had simply moved in to our attic. When we thought the bees were gone at night they were actually right there next to our bedroom wall. We paid a hefty $275 to have the swarm exterminated. I don't much care for insecticides, but for a swarm of Africanized honey bees in the attic I'm willing to make an exception. The bee guy said that if we'd waited a few weeks, we would have had to open up the attic to remove the honeycomb. After a few weeks it could have been so large that it would have attracted a whole new colony of bees. After hearing about this, the $275 fee started to sound pretty good, especially for such fast after-hours service.

We've been watching Lost Season 1 on DVD, so we decided to watch the next episode to take our minds off the now hopefully dead bees in the attic. People who have already seen the show would know that the first season has an episode where the druggie guitar player steps on a big nasty bee hive and gets attacked by a swarm of bees. We didn't know that, but we know it now because that's the episode we saw last night. Sure, a bee attack is exactly what I needed to see right after finding out we had a hive in the house, and right before bedtime. I decided a vodka screw driver might be my best option.

The little buzzers appear to be gone today, for real this time, at least for now. Still, I find myself looking over my shoulder, and listening for the noise.

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